What a strange thought.

You’re not here anymore.

Sometimes it feels like you’ve just gone away for a bit. Maybe you’re on a vacation or visiting family. Maybe you’re deployed again and I communications are briefly down.

But you’re not.

Sometimes it hits me full force: you’re dead. You died. I buried you. You’re gone.

It hits me when I walk into the living room. I expect to see you but there’s an emptiness in that room instead.

I think of planning dinner and remember what you like, but then realize it doesn’t matter because you won’t be here to join me.

I look forward to embracing you, touching you…but that’s something that has long passed.

No more conversations with you.

No more planning a future with you.

No more.

It’s all gone.

Because you’re not here.